What a day

R.I.P lola the lizard! miss you already

how do you surrender and tell the person who loves you the most that you dont know why you cant spend any time with them?

anyone?

Decisions, decisions, decisions

Do you think things get any better?
or
Do you think things are bad bad bad and then get better?

anyone????

Well ive had the 2 bad days, compared to other problems they are not the worst days but they are pretty bad.
My backs not great again :( but dealing with that is better than other stuff.
My car is back down the garage, and is going to cost another £200 which is half of what i bought it for. Being a grown up and having to grow up im finding is really difficult.
My hours have dropped in work and i got a holiday to start saving for and paying off.

Why does bad allways come at the same time, I wish it would just spread its self around the year and not come in one lump.
Or maybe its just me having about 4 lump loads of bad in one year. Who knows???

Last night i went to my bible study group and we were talking about decision making and how the will of God is split up in three parts
1.Providential
2.Moral
3.Personal

1.Gods going to do this no matter what, these are things that he just does because hes God, Its not dependant on anything we do. He accomplishes it through men and women.
2.These are gods commandments, the stuff we know are right and wrong for us.
3.Personal things, our own decision, our own choices we have to make.

The whole point of this is that if we get familiar with the providential (1) will of god and be obident with the moral part (2) the the easier your personal (3) choices will become. 

I really enjoyed this study by Andy Stanley and im really going to try and do these things. 

I would really like anyones prayers at the moment on my life, and just help me to look for wisdom in the rough times im going through. 

Over and out :)

WOW!

Wow, what a wild couple of months! I used to enjoy coming on here and just writing what im thinking, it can help me figure things out. When you got so much going on though its hard to get time to come on here, but im back and letting everyone know what ive been up to :)

I've started a ladies night in Bethel and it has gone amazingly, we had Rachel English speak in the first one and it was fantastic. Chains were broken and the place was on fire. The second Ladies night was also brilliant we had Flora Graham speak and it was just as good as the first one and so many ladies came to that. I have organsised one now in October on the 8th so please if you read this and seem interested, its on the 8th in Bethel Baptist Church Pontyclun be amazing if you could make it.

Ive also had 2 opportunites to lead in bethel which has been just awesome and I cant wait for more opportunites. Theres so much more but i dont want to bore you on my first time back in here in a while.

Wow i feel good already about this hehe

Hillsongs new album aftermath is amazingggg ......... listen to it!
Track 1,2,3 fantastic :)

Just been to the hillsong ladies colour conference, and it was amazing, God challenged me loads! it is wild!
Things are going okay with me at the moment, I'm still in the cave but i have a job :) and god is really moving in my life :)

I've started a ladies night in Bethel so if you are reading the next one is june 25th at bethel baptist church pontyclun and it starts at 7.15pm with flora graham speaking, be awesome if you could make it!

:)

Im back :)

Well im guessing by the title you know that im back :) Im hoping everyone who does get a chance to read is all good and everythings going good with them.
Sorry its been a while guys but i only just realised how bad things have been going in my life, and how so much have changed. I also realised last night that im in a cave and have been for a while, and how im not going to be getting out of it anytime soon, and to be honest with you im quite okay with that.
Just to keep everyone updated, i've taken a year out of uni just to get my feet on the ground and see what it is that god has planned for me. I'm looking for any type of job at the minute, so if anyone does know of any, let me know :). Even though so many things have happened in the past 3 weeks, the person i am coming out of all this mess, never went in as strong as she is now :) and i ave god to thank for all that.
You will never know god is all you need, till god is all you have! Being in the cave means that really you have failed, but if you really think, god has done his best works in caves, you have a chance to be honest with god, every time you make mistakes you learn something from it. So the more mistakes you make, the more you'll learn and the more you won't make those mistakes again.

I just pray now that if your in a cave at this point in your life, dont stress about it too much, focus on god, and never take your eyes off god, trust him all the time and youll be out of that cave before you know it

What to do next??? Are you in the boat?

My day was lets say... very interesting. I went to see a car today which could be my new car, just waiting back to here. Went to an interview which went good, if i was in the right place, and also got another interview in line :). Both of these interviews are for completley different types of work, but we'll see which one i get :)

Wanted to share some stuff with you guys that i was doing last night in our kerith group (house group, study group) If you would like to turn to Matthew14 vs 22-34
Basically what you get out of this verse is how we need to trust, learn and put our faith in god.

We need to be giving our everything to god, and trusting him to do with it what he wants. (Jeremiah29vs 11)
We need to be stepping out in our faith, stepping out of our comfort zones, even the little things god can see as big things. We need to not  waste our time and gods time praying for stuff that we really can do ourselfs.

Our boat is our comfort zone :)
whether you like it or not, if you stay in that boat for too long, it will sink.
we described this as an escelator (cant spell) you either go up or down. Going up would be trusting god and stepping out in faith. Going down would be staying in the boat and not growing at all, just staying the same.
What do you want to do???
I know i want to get out of the boat before i drown or go down, but i also know that its hard too. I'm still on the boat and i'd love to just jump off at any time, and this is where i think i struggle sometimes with my faith, and so did peter in the verse above, Peter only took his eyes off jesus for one second in this passage and immediatley he falls and starts to sink. When we take our eyes off jesus, we immediatley lose our faith and we begin to sink and fall. But peter was the one that stepped out of the boat, the others in the boat were the failures, they were comfortable in the boat, although peter nearly drown he took that step and got off the boat.

Does Failure lead to success?
Are you a risk taker or a comfort seeker?

have a think about it? do you want grow and start your journey with god, its dangerous staying in our comfort zones, youll never see your life moving forward.

Are you ready to jump out of the boat?????

GO FOR IT!!!!!

16th February- Weight Watchers lost= 3pound
whayyyy 6pound in two weeks :)

Long time, no post!

Things got worse, much worse, but like the saying says it can only get better, well its kind of stayed the same. My life is still on hold, still don't know what im doing, or am going to do!
But i think im just going to see how it goes, the verse jeremiah 29 vs 11 just keeps coming up for me and i think its time i just stick to my faith and follow what god is trying to say, which i dont know what that is!
Two people have given me this verse in the past month or so, and then yesterday i was going through some old boxes underneath my bed and i came across a letter that someone had prayed for me and had written everything down with the verse jeremiah 29 vs 11 clearly stated on there,what does this mean???

The person also wrote:

A picture of a beauitful flower was seen. The flower was open and stood out, but it was being blown around violently. We couldn't help being attracted to the flowers beauty but you could also see how fragile it was in the wind. We felt god saying that his spirit shines from you, but you have a delicate character. Don't let things blow you around but plant your roots in god.

Accept the person god has made you.........Do you see the yourself as god does?

I just wanted to share that with everyone, i had that letter about a year and a half ago, and god is still talking to me about it now, he wont give up on us, no matter what. He'll keep talking to us when we try to ignore, he'll find a way to talk to us.

New news :)

Week 1 in Weight Watchers = Lost 3pounds :)

I think the new saying should be things can only get worse!

Yep things can only get worse i think!
Havent been on here in a while sorry guys! Ive had exams and a really rough week, so thats my excuse :)
Can anyone think of any way you can get money fast??? im a terrible saver so when you car fails its m.o.t and it costs more than the cars worth your pretty bummed. so if anyone has any suggestions in making money fast, please let me no..........

Just when you think things cant get worse!

Just when you think things cant get worse, for starters just dont think that because it can, it can always get worse, and it has!

My life is shambles again and I just dont know what to do :( I never thought it would be this bad!
Hehe and never think you not good enough, I had a downer yesterday when I thought I werent good enough and then a big burger van came past and on the side it said "only the best is good enough" lol
and that made me feel worse. It was like a kick in the face, why cant we just be ourselfs? isnt that good enough?

If we are worried what people are thinking about us all the time, we are never going to live up to our potential .......

and i'ts true, I'm telling you all this because thats why my life is in shambles right now! Thats all i've done all my life is care what people think, i've pleased everyone else but myself and its not good!

So if you are doing something now just because your worried what people will say, stop it and do what you want.
God loves you and he will be with you, no matter what!

Jump of the fence guys and just go for it!!!

Everyone who reads this, its really time to just go for it! seriously god has spoken to me soo much today and im finally at ease with everything, well until i jump off the fence!
I know alot of people are going to be disapointed in me and think im making the wrong choice, but i really dont think i am! so sorry if you are one of the disapointed people.

Dreams came up again today, and it got me thinking about it even more! Matt(pastor) mentioned to me and claire today that dreams are the things that make our lifes better, and that when you live your dreams your always going to be living bigger than the moment. They are there for a reason, and thats to do something with them, chase after them, fight for them and catch them when you can. I may not yet be living the dream i want yet but i know that when i jump for them ill be caught in gods hands and living the dream through him and for him.

Jeremiah 29 vs 11

Living life to the full??? As if!

Hey bloggers! Hope you've all had a good weekend, as you can prob tell mines not been very good! Living life to the full is what i called my blog when i first started i think it should be called living life to how people want me to!

My friend Tim English preached a couple of weeks ago on worship, and he mentioned that when he was in his twentys all he used to do was live for the weekends. But he realised that your really wishing the other five days of your life away. We're too young to be wishing our life away, and worrying what people think of us!
I personally think its time for us to step out in faith and just do what god wants us to do!

I wish i could just step out right now, do what i think god wants me to do and just go for it!

Bit of decorating

Hehe finally my page is looking decent! At last!!! I've actually done some revision today and i do feel a tiny bit better, but still dont know what i'm doing with my life, and if anyone else has a clue please let me know.

Do you think anyone who had a dream, is living it out???
I would really like to know. You grow up with this dream of being a superstar or a teacher or a carpenter?
does anyone get what they want? or is there people out there who have faught every step to where they are now and are living the dream? If you are, you are inspiring me now as im writing, to believe that we all can do it if you can.
It was Martin Luther King day the monday just gone and he had a dream, and his dream has changed the world we live in today, so it must be true!

Anyone know my dream? wanna come looking for it with me?
Cuz i know for sure im not fighting for it, if anything im running away from it!

My new love revolution cards for the next two weeks are:
Give someone a massive hug and make amends with a family member or friend.

Deuteronomy 31vs6 My baptism verse
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your god goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you"

I know god knows all my actions and i know hes going to be there while i make the wrong and right ones. He will be there for me no matter what!

Back on the fence again guys! Got a week full or revision, and i dont know what im going to do now, If i pass theres not really an excuse to quit is there! I mean i love what i do, but the theory is just insane, and i dont think i can do insane anymore lol im getting old. Had an amazing time last week with god and im going to try and keep up with it.

Im really getting used to these early morning prayers, hehe until about 4pm when im so tired i nap for an hour (if i can) (well most days)! But getting up spending time with god having breakfast can completley change your day, i encourage everyone to do it. ohh and im 17 days into my not drinking coke and not having crisps, how awesome is that? whoop whoop for me!

Went to the pub last night with all my friends, its funny like how something simple as a piece of cobweb falling off the ceiling can be a highlight of someones night, or everyones night? we all laughed so much, and as we passed baby jake around laughing at who could make him laugh? or cry? or just smile!

I enocurage everyone just when they wake up to say five thank you's! whether it be thank you for my job, thank you for the day ahead, or thank you for the family you are waking up with! Just thank the lord for these awesome things we have in our life

A new day

Hey, My life seems to be working out quite well, although i've got a bad cough and cold, i've finally made up my mind about everything and i feel so much better. Anyone who reads i know this is random, but, go on to you tube and watch some videos about god changing their lives, its so inspirational! You may have a few tears but the miracles that happen because of god are just so amazing!
I think today im going to have a good sort out and anything i dont want, im going to give to the charity shop, or bless someone else with it. :) might go and make some cakes now!
I'm starting to change my mind already!

A much better day :)

Had a terrible night which ended in an amazing sleep and a early morning! Getting used to the Early morning common prayer now and im really enjoying. Uni was terribly boring and i couldnt concentrate again! But ive made up my mind about what im going to do, i just have to make plans now!! Looking forward to kerith tonight, we are going to start encouraging each other and its my turn this week, should be interesting!

well unless u post hehe

hehe just realised how dramatic i sound on here! but its nice to talk to someone and let it all out and no one can talk back :)

Things can suprise you!

Just had my essay back, and i passed! How wierd and shocking is that? do you think that could be a sign that this course is right for me? (please i hope not) hehe! But it means now that its going to be harder to get out of it! Everyone will be so proud! The funny thing is my personal tutor said to me, " is this you really writing? have you used someone elses work?" how bad is that? Am i that bad! oh well, what to do now? so many decisions! should i listen to what my hearts saying or should i listen to other people and just be unhappy? anyone????

I'm new at this :)

Hey, anyone whos reading, im totally new at this so i dont have a clue what im doing but oh well! hehe!
I'm just talking to my friend now jackson and when we were in college (he was doing music, i was doing musical theatre) we made a bet that we's both become famous doing what we loved! its sad really how much things change :( are our dreams meant to happen? should we fight all the way or do they always just get left behind????